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| From: | cspaslay | 6/4/2003 8:28 am |
| To: | ALL |
(1 of 1) | | | | 10.1 | |
There is nothing uniform about wearing school uniforms, at least not the way Swenson Arts and Technology High School students wear their navy blue golf shirts. Introduced in 2001 by Dr. Reuben L. Yarmus, Swenson's principal, the golf shirts are classy, comfortable, and inexpensive, a far cry from the skirts, slacks and sweaters worn by students in Philadelphia's Catholic schools.
But comfort and affordability don't always jibe with teenagers. Below are 10 ways enterprising Swenson students manipulate the dress code and wear--or should I say DON'T wear--their school uniforms.
1. "Hulk Hogan" style. This is when the student rips the collar completely off the shirt, tears open the sleeves at the seams, and lets the uniform hang off his body like a poncho. Students who sport their uniform "Hulk Hogan" style usually wear a white T-shirt underneath, but if you're a football player with 17 inch biceps, the T-shirt is not required.
2. "Hanging-Around-the-Neck" style. This is self explanatory, and is achieved when the student puts his head through the neck hole of the shirt, but for some unknown reason fails to put his arms through the sleeves, thus turning the shirt into a giant navy blue necklace.
3. "Under-the-Coat" style. Very popular during the winter months. This is when the student buys a bag of Doritos in the lunch room instead of going to his locker in the morning, forcing the student to wear his winter coat over his uniform for the remainder of the day. The number of students who practice the "Under-the-Coat" style is directly proportional to the number of students who complain that classrooms are is "too hot".
4. "Book Bag" style. This is when the student doesn't wear the uniform at all, but keeps it in his book bag. When he gets to class and the teacher asks, "Where's your uniform?" the student opens his book bag and flashes the shirt like an ID badge, insisting that doing so keeps him in compliance with the school dress code.
5. "Beach Towel" style. This is when the student slings his uniform over his shoulder like a beach towel. Sun tan lotion is optional.
6. "Turban" style. Yes, you got it. Instead of putting the shirt on, the student wraps it around his head.
7. "Ninja" style. This is just like wearing the uniform "Turban" style, except the student wraps the shirt around his face, not his head. This is the preferred style when copping Z's in class.
8. "Superman" style. No red "S" here, but there is a blue cape. This style involves draping the uniform down the middle of the student's back.
9. "Grease Rag" style. Two words: back pocket. This style goes well with students enrolled in Swenson's automotive program.
10. "Slap-and-Tickle" style. Caution: This style is extremely progressive and requires written consent from all participants. If written consent is not given, wearing the uniform "Slap-and-Tickle" style may result in one or more counts of sexual harassment. The style is as follows: Instead of wearing the golf shirt the student twists it into a cloth whip, wets the end of the whip in the nearest water fountain, and chases other students down the hall, whacking them on the backside. Again, written consent is required.
Swenson students, like most adolescents in the Philadelphia school district, are wonderfully imaginative. Their ingenuity when it comes to the dress code is both clever and humorous.
***
CSPASLAY, AKA Christopher Paslay, is an English teacher at Swenson Arts and Technology High School in Philadelphia.
Edited 6/4/2003 8:41:05 AM ET by cspaslay
Edited 6/4/2003 8:41:55 AM ET by cspaslay |
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